Intimacy Will Solidify Your Relationship
Love is not enough, babes.
Your relationship needs intimacy to survive.
My breath trembled in awe as she walked into the room. I could perceive her aura behind me as I took a breath and continued my virtual presentation. I wrapped it up in a few seconds and closed my Google Meet app to meet her warm hand against my bare cheeks (not the one you're thinking of 😉).
This relationship with my best friend is important to me, and I cherish it so much. It exposes me to new versions of myself, an explosive understanding of human interaction, and the necessities for a healthy relationship.
When you hear intimacy, what comes to mind? Kissing, cuddling, romance, sex? All part of it, but there is more to intimacy than muah, muah, muah. Generally, there are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual forms of intimacy. These four forms highlight the love languages I shared with you in understanding love languages.
Every relationship needs some or all forms of intimacy to be sustainable. It is great to love someone, but that is not enough. Is your relationship intimate enough that you can answer these questions without guilt?
Do you respect and value each other?
Does your partner trust and feel emotionally safe in your relationship?
Do you work to appreciate each other, or is it a competition of who finds the most fault in each other?
Do you even care if your partner feels loved in your relationship?
Do you take accountability when you misunderstand or misinterpret their love language?
Can you be vulnerable to your friend or partner?
Are you even a safe place for your partner to be vulnerable, or do they walk on eggshells so they do not upset you?
Do you trust your partner to have your best interest in your relationship?
You see, I do not care if you have sex twenty-one times a month or have a timetable for it. Morning kisses and goodnight kisses mean nothing if your partner gets anxious when you walk into the room or they hear your voice.
Relationships are not to feel among but to be involved.
For intimacy to thrive, all forms of it need to be met and mutually applied to your relationship. It would help if you did more than desire it. Talk about it, practice it, review it (not compare or judge it), and personalize it.
Oh my! I love hugs and cuddles because it reminds you that it requires a partnership to feel wholesome. Intimacy in relationships and marriages requires mutual understanding and partnership.
There are things you need to come to terms with in life and relationships that will help you love yourself and not accept anything less than the love, intimacy, and compassion you deserve.
If they wanted to, they would.
No response or action is a response.
Everyone has different views and love languages from you.
It is a good day to reflect on your relationships. The one you have with yourself and others, to see if you are giving and receiving a healthy amount of intimacy.
How to improve intimacy in your relationship.
Communicate your feelings with respect, not resentment.
Listen to understand, not reply.
Build trust, not guilt and shame.
Correct to encourage, not embarrass.
Be teachable, not territorial.
No relationship is perfect. Every relationship has flaws. Your relationship is unique, and you and your partner are responsible for building a healthy relationship for your mental peace, emotional safety, spiritual upliftment, and physical satisfaction.
You can do it. Muah!
Join the rest of The Real Talk community on Twitter as we discuss how we can build better relationships with healthy intimacy.
Great article. I love that you've defined the many forms of intimacy and that you provided some self reflective questions.
Intimacy is deeply personal but you need to be vulnerable enough to share yourself with another person, so that they know what you need and you know what they need.
Else, silent expectations will cause unnecessary resentment and result in the exact opposite of intimacy