Growing through limited support
You don't need support from everyone.
Quick ad: I lead the conversation in episode 2 of the Beyond Borders podcast with Carolyn and Pim. Check it out. 😅
Last week, we had a powerful community meeting inspired by ‘A World Without Friends,’ and it was one of my favorite meetings.
In the days that followed, several events led me to reflect on two key words—friendship and support.
Why don't your friends support you?
You might have asked this question a few times. I used to ask this a lot growing up and felt like I wasn't doing things the way people liked it, then I did those things, and learned two things.
It’s not what you do that earns support, but who you are.
You don't need everyone's support to flourish.
These two lessons reshaped my mindset and growth. They provided me with clarity on two similar concepts that can be easily mistaken for one another, and if not careful, might limit your growth.
You see, it's lovely to feel loved. It's amazing to be applauded. It's fantastic to have fans. And it's superb to have supporters. However, surveillance can be mistaken for support.
As similar as support and surveillance can be, one feeds your fire, while the other tracks the flames. Annalie Howling puts it perfectly.
You can have people close to you not out of care, but curiosity. And that's why not every connection should be embraced, trumpeted, or filled with expectations.
Why are they watching without supporting?
Some of your ‘friends’ aren't clapping because they can't.
They're used to measuring, calculating, and comparing.
Your growth is not a threat to another person's struggle, but can be seen as a reminder of their stillness.
There are ‘friends’ who ask you ‘How are you?’ not because they care about how you're doing, but want to know where you are, mentally, emotionally, physically, and otherwise.
They’ll watch your stories and updates, but not interact with you or your progress. And suddenly, they'll remember you when they find the courage to ask for support for themselves.
That's where it’s interesting because you'll give it. Yes, because that's who you are. A light in the world. And true friendship doesn’t need conditions to show up.
If you've ever wondered why people stayed connected to you but hardly showed up for you, I know it hurts, as it should, but remember this;
Your growth will trigger those who ignored their potential.
Growing through the barriers.
As you navigate life, you’ll learn that being real overpowers being liked. Take a cue from men (It’s still men’s mental health month), and whether loved or not, will still hustle, provide, and protect.
You're not growing to be accepted, but to occupy. And maybe the support isn't coming, but you're winning because you're doing, exploring, expanding, impacting, and flourishing.
You're not stuck in your stillness, and that's what matters.
One of my favorite places to be is by the ocean because it teaches us that even when it’s okay to sit still, never forget to flow.
That's your power. Embrace it. Flow with it. And remember, the most important person who needs to be proud of you is you.
Such a powerful piece, Sprenko.
When you are real and true to yourself, you find the support you need from people who are aligned with who you are and are becoming.
We have to leave behind those who are triggered by our growth so we can embrace those on the same journey as we are on.
But it begins with being honest with self and not needing to be validated. Validation comes as a result of doing what you knew deep down to be true and good for you.
Your growth will trigger those who ignored their potential. ⬅️ There are too many words in this post I like to quote but I have to choose one n this is it.
Your writings have become more powerful with each new post n your confidence is evident in them.
Good job, well done, my bris! 👏👍💪✌️🙏😊