Finding yourself in difficult times
Improvise, adapt, overcome.
The strongest ones are those who are still kind after the world tore them apart.
I attended a fashion show a few years ago, and while heading backstage, I got stopped by security. It was one of the biggest fashion shows in the country at the time, so the whos and whos were guests, and not everyone was allowed backstage and in certain areas. As I stopped, the security asked, “Who are you?”
My first thought was to say my name or look for my tag, but I turned and saw how someone was embarrassed because he didn’t have a tag, so I opted for something else. My response was, I am the head of the team. “Oh, sorry,” was his response, and I passed through. Here is what he didn’t know; I improvised.
It was a difficult situation because I didn’t have any form of identification. Still, rather than try to explain why he should allow me to pass through, I found something about me at the time that would make me overcome that challenge. I wasn’t the head of the team, but the head of a team, and holding onto that was the strength I needed to pass through.
You see, life is tough, and there will always be something to test you and push you to the edge. In that difficult time, in the darkness, loss, heartbreak, or betrayal, how do you stay true to yourself and not lose yourself while trying to navigate the constant battles the world throws at you?
No one is expected to remain the same person forever. Change is constant. In life, we constantly learn and unlearn things about ourselves while rediscovering and evolving into better versions of ourselves. This isn’t always easy because it is not a smooth ride.
As an artist or creator, you may have a sweet journey and then a heartbreaking experience along the way that leaves you devastated. This experience can make you pause or veer away from who you feel you are. In an attempt to prevent future hurt or loss, you build up an emotional or psychological wall with little or no entry. Now, you are always on guard.
Human beings are built to love and be loved. Even the toughest man loves something or someone. Putting your guard up as a tactic to adapt and combat the pain the world brings is advisable. However, you don’t want to be lost in that state of mind. The idea is to find and maintain a healthy balance between being vulnerable and hardened: adapting.
If you choose to adapt to life and adversity and put your guard up to protect yourself and try to avoid pain, you will do just that - Avoid it (to an extent), but then, you’re also signing up to avoid the other end of the spectrum - true authentic joy. It’s a package deal. You either get both or neither. - Sel.
Adapting to the times and situations can be done without losing sight of who you are at the core, but it can also make you lose yourself. Trying to grow at the same pace the world evolves can be consuming, so it is important to lean into the following practices to maintain a healthy balance.
Self-awareness: It isn’t talked about enough, and when it is, there is little to no depth. It is more than knowing what you like and don’t like. Pay attention to how you perceive things, your thoughts about something or someone, your reactions to different situations, your reactions to other people’s reactions of how you react or are expected to react, and the list goes on.
Self-awareness will help you understand how you are evolving and give you clarity on where you need to look.
Mindfulness: An essential next step to finding yourself in difficult times. As self-awareness makes those changes known, Mindfulness involves objectively observing and analyzing thoughts, feelings, and sensations to reconfigure yourself to your true self. Being in the present and allowing yourself to accept that you can be who you are and who you have become because two truths can co-exist.
Embrace your weaknesses: Nobody wants to fail, but sometimes, failure can teach you how to win your next challenge. You are soft, emotional, and too kind. Yes, it can make people take advantage of you. However, you can change the way you accommodate people (improvise), become someone who cuts off anyone unhealthy for your mental health (adapt), and still be loving and kind but without accommodating any disrespect (overcome).
When you realize that your biggest weakness can be a strength, you can turn a breaking point into your breakthrough.
The idea is not to be tough so we never lose but to be strong enough to always get back up and win even when we are losing.
Getting hurt is part of the process. It’s what gives healing its true significance. If we learn to see that avoiding pain all the time can also be painful, maybe we will get closer to understanding how much joy we have.
I can’t wait to discuss this with you all in the spaces call on Friday. I’m looking forward to reading and hearing from you.
Happy Hump day!
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I have no comments, you said it all so good, Sprenko. Improvise, adapt, overcome without losing yourself & your values, your ability to love and been loved.
I just wonder if other people around have this self-awareness and mindfulness…
Thank you.
Thank you for your feedback, Irina. I believe with more conversations around self-awareness, more people will pay attention to themselves.