Finding strength in your imperfections
You are enough
We all have flaws, and although they may seem imperfect and can be obstacles to our glow, these flaws remind us of our humanity. They are facets of imperfections that make us distinct.
It’s quite a hurdle to acknowledge one’s flaws in a world that yells perfection in our faces and nearly crucifies us for not being perfect, As if anyone is.Â
I have to admit I have a fondness for flaws. A certain authenticity radiates from those who wear their imperfections honestly.
One of the flaws that occasionally throws a shadow over me is self-doubt. It's that persistent whisper questioning. Are you truly good enough, or What if you stumble? This flaw can be a barrier, restraining my potential and stifling me as an artist. However, by acknowledging its existence and bringing it into the light, I wield the power to confront and overcome it – a practice I engage in daily.
In delving deeper into understanding this self-doubt, a revelation surfaced. That nagging voice isn't solely mine. The cautionary whispers come from the countless other voices from my past that have played a role in shaping me. Recognizing that these voices, although well-intentioned, often echo insecurities and fears of their own has been a crucial realization. It’s important to understand that the wisdom of others may not always align with our reality.
I've also traced some of these voices back to childhood and the influence of caregivers, which, in the present, holds no relevance to the person I've become. I now consciously choose not to heed their warnings.
The echoes from the past need not dictate the course of my present or future.
Our existence is constantly interrupted by an endless stream of whispers: advice from well-meaning mentors, cautionary tales from well-intentioned friends and family, and the swirl of societal expectation that surrounds us and shapes us from birth. All of this shapes our perception of what is acceptable and flawed.
We cannot ignore the power of society's narratives as we explore the origin of our flaws—the media, from news outlets to social media and online advertising. You will find a distorted portrayal of reality at every touchpoint where we are. This cultivated veneer, often of perfection, is just a facade, but it distorts our collective perspective of reality and shapes our thoughts.
This relentless bombardment of the ideal, devoid of imperfections, creates confusion between our flawed, authentic selves and the sanitized images these powerful influencers portray.
The societal script leads us down a path suggesting that flaws should be hidden. When we consider our imperfections, we are influenced directly by these images and suggestions that circulate in our world, and in comparing and contrasting ourselves with them, a distorted sense of self arises. If this influence is not understood, it can impact our mental health and distance us further from the authenticity that comes from embracing our amazing messiness.
We have a difficult job as sentient beings. We absorb information without even realizing it. However, armed with this knowledge, we can reclaim ourselves, understand we are imperfect, accept that the societal narrative is flawed and doesn’t serve us, and realize that it is within this messy tangle of influence that our uniqueness lives.
The flaws we have developed mark our growth.
They are the imprints of the lessons of life. So, we must embrace them or miss the opportunity to grow completely.
We are not passive recipients. We are the architects, constantly adapting, revising, and redefining our plans. So, never shy away from reflection, unravel those knots, and acknowledge that within this beautiful mess lies your unique story of resilience, growth, and the spirit existing within our imperfect selves.
The glossing over of flaws, in the broader societal sense, is something we are subjected to every day. The news, magazines, online advertising, social media, and politics - all concoct a view of reality that benefits no one but them. Â
So, how do we give ourselves the best chance of not being influenced negatively by echoes from the past and the whirlwind of media influence that surrounds us?
Be your best friend: I have found it extremely difficult over time to apply what I know to be true to myself. Sometimes, it's difficult to apply logic to ourselves. One technique that has worked for me is to step outside of myself and act as if I were advising someone else. This works every time.
Face up to who you are now. If changes need to be made, you recognize and embrace them. It can be done.
I stepped into the brave new world of Web3 as a complete novice. I felt intimidated and lost in the beginning. One of my (many) flaws is that I find it very difficult to network. Historically, I’ve felt inferior. The Web3 space challenged every fiber of my being to step out into the light and engage. It was the only way I would stand a chance in this space. The experience has been life-changing. The space is packed with kindness and support in a way that I’ve not experienced in life before, and I recognize that had I not stepped out of my comfort zone and shared myself, it would never have happened.
Switch off when you need to: We have ultimate control over most of the social and mainstream media we are subjected to, and we can choose not to engage. Time away from the digital world is time well spent. It is easy to get caught up in the prevailing views of others. Don’t get drawn in. Steer your own path, and life gets less fraught.
Be kind to yourself. You are worth it.
It is one thing to identify your flaws and imperfections and another to use them as fuel to fly. These practices have helped me grow despite being imperfect. They can help you too.
Embrace your flaws: They’re not poison but the spice that makes you unique. In embracing your flaws, you can study them, the triggers, and loopholes, and then challenge every flaw until you overcome them.Â
Celebrate your little wins: Every progress is progress. We become our obstacles by magnifying our imperfections over our strengths and progress. Thus, getting sucked in and led by the imperfection because you now believe there's no growing out of it. Remember, nothing is important till you give it importance. If you empower your little wins, you empower yourself to make bigger ones.
Avoid comparison: It is the thief of joy. No two people share the same path. Using someone else's growth or development as a yardstick for whether you’re doing good can be a limitation. We are all a work in progress. Move at your pace.
Nobody is perfect. The societal nudge to be perfect is often a projection of how imperfect others are and how much they loathe themselves. It's hardly ever about you.
Reflect on your life and highlight those imperfections. Write them down, analyze them, and take actionable steps to become a better version of yourself without the guilt of perfectionism. Give them an audience, but lead the choir.
Join the rest of The Real Talk community on Twitter as we discuss more about ways to find strength from your imperfections and become better versions of ourselves.
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