Do you want it as bad as you do
Who are you living for?
Real men don't cry—Oh, shut up!
I’m in pain, surrounded by family and loved ones, yet I feel so alone. Heartbroken, because no matter what I say or do, it means nothing to the people I show up every day for.
Yet, I'm supposed to pretend I don't feel these emotions because someone, somewhere, years ago, told themselves that sitting with and expressing certain emotions makes you weak.
And we wonder why over 500,000 men die from suicide every year. I won't be one of them, and you don't have to be.
I started journaling—writing my thoughts down because I was petrified of what people would think and say if I admitted I was struggling with anxiety and depression. So, I did what most boys (and men) do—lock it in and hide the key. If only you knew how badly I wanted someone to know and understand how defeated I felt.
This artwork was commissioned by my best friend (I will always love you) as a birthday gift, and every time I look at it, my heart bleeds a little.
It's sad but beautiful. A constant reminder that even at your lowest, life can be confusing but beautiful if you find a balance.
That pain, struggle, loneliness, anxiety, depression, trauma, guilt, or part of yourself you've buried for so long because we’ve been told that seeking help makes you look weak, can be a memory, a story, or a lesson if you do what you know your soul needs for your mental health to breathe and live a little.
Society often portrays men embracing emotions such as crying as something to be mocked, but mocking this healthy, human emotional release only serves to discourage men from talking to others about their struggles and challenges. Even to fellow men.
It takes real courage and strength to look yourself in the mirror and say, I’m dealing with some issues and I want to figure them out.
It’s not easy to talk to someone when you don't even know how or where to begin.
How do you even talk to someone when every time you try, they make it seem like you're asking for too much?
When they make it seem like you're not enough, how do you even tell them that you are not them or a version of the perfect being in their imagination?
I get it. I do. I know what it feels like to have so much to say but hold back for peace to reign. To be the bigger person. To be a man.
In the summer of 2019, I decided I wanted to be free. To look at myself in the mirror and recognize myself. For me and my mental health. I want the same for you. You deserve peace of mind.
Start with journaling, It saved my life.
Journaling is like talking to a friend who doesn’t judge you.
Do it for yourself.
I know you want to set a perfect example, but why bother when you're not even perfect?
We’ve struggled for so long because history, society, parents, and childhood trauma contributed to teaching us to ignore being authentic and instead try to be the perfect version of the people before us.
In case you’re wondering, yes, you deserve it all.
Like learning a new skill, it’s not easy. You might feel like dumping it and remaining the way you've known all your life because of the frustration, but like you, I struggled, too.
Then I thought, do I want to keep pretending to be fine, or do whatever it takes to be fine?
Do you want to continue that traumatic trend, or heal and change for yourself, so those who come after you can see and know that it’s okay to love yourself with your flaws and imperfections because you'll keep learning and growing to be a better version of yourself.
Sit with your emotions for yourself,
Love yourself,
Treat yourself,
Forgive yourself,
Seek help for yourself,
Heal for yourself,
Become better for yourself,
And in doing so, others can see that they can become better for themselves because you did, and your world didn't end.
Here’s a little reminder with one of my favorite songs.
I'm doing something for #MensMentalHealthMonth, and you're welcome to join.👇🏼
I felt this piece 🥹
Your friend's beautiful artwork perfectly depicted the dichotomy of not wanting to be seen and wanting to be seen at your worst.
If men truly weren't meant to cry or feel the emotions they do, then why have them in the first place? Having spaces like this are important because they challenge and question old-age narratives that don't serve men.
I applaud your vulnerability and your contribution to Men's Mental Health this month 👏🏽
I'll do whatever it takes to be fine.
I think the challenge is truly loving yourself, knowing you can still improve and yet when you find the courage to share your pain, anger or disappointment, it becomes counterproductive.
That sharing is supposed to help you grow and become fine
but when it becomes inconvenient to everyone else, it leads to less peace than had you just said you were fine.
So, I guess, I'll just say I'm fine and keep everyone else's peace. 🤔😢