Care requires sacrifice.
We don't talk enough about how caring for others leaves a toll on our mental health. It can be rewarding and heartbreaking at the same time. It can provide genuine life satisfaction and leave you feeling empty and lost. Being a carer is complicated and often a sacrifice as most people find themselves caring for others by chance or situation.
You may have been a carer without even realizing it. A carer isn't only someone who cares for another person’s physical or medical needs. If you have a partner with anxiety or depression and are offering them emotional support, then you are a carer. The same goes for helping out a loved one with alcohol or drug problems. Your unpaid support to a friend or family member with an illness, disability, addiction, or mental health condition (or who needs extra help for one reason or another) is being a carer. It can be a handful of jobs.
Taking care of others is a selfless act but comes with mixed feelings. You may not have the capacity to suddenly start caring for a romantic partner, parent, or sibling, but you have to anyway and it can have a huge impact on your emotional and mental health. That frustration from caring for them doesn't mean you're a bad person. Unless you naturally are.
You are not a bad person for feeling tired of caring for others.
When caring for others, you must prioritize their needs. This can be challenging, depending on your relationship. If you are caring for a parent who you feel let you down as a child or who has been a difficult, abusive, or demanding presence in your life — then you might find it challenging to move into a support role with them. And that's normal.
Imagine mothers who dedicate 9 months of their lives to ensure another human being joins the rat race and still struggle with postpartum depression for many reasons. Being a caregiver can be both rewarding and a challenge at the same time. Fatigue, anxiety, stress, depression, anger, frustration, weight loss, and physical illness are no strangers to carers, and that's why as carers you must find a balance to care for yourself too.
The fact that it is exhausting to care for others doesn’t mean we stop caring for others. We create a balance where we care for others but care for ourselves, too. For example, I have been working on the Ginger and Lemon Tea collection to cater to young artists ahead of the Real Talk Art workshop, but I also learned to take a break to take care of my health.
See the preview and collect a few if you can.
What to observe and start caring for yourself as a carer.
Burnout and mood swings
Caring for others can bring up challenging emotions like anger and resentment towards the person you are caring for. However, you can find yourself worrying that those feelings are somehow ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ and not talk about it for fear of judgment. These are normal reactions from stress or seeing them suffer, a cue to consider taking care of yourself.
Frustration and loss of self
You might want to reflect and dedicate time to yourself when you feel lost, especially when you don’t know yourself anymore or your life revolves around caring for someone else.
Lack of interest and depression
At this point, your mental health is asking for help. You need to express your feelings to someone or a support group to keep your mental and emotional health in check.
You can't give what you don't have. It's wholesome to care for others but not to the detriment of yourself or your health. When you care for yourself you can then have the capacity to care for others.
If you feel drained or frustrated from caring for others, don’t feel like you are evil for feeling frustrated or tired. You are not alone.
Join the rest of The Real Talk community on Twitter (X) as we discuss the strain of caring for others on our health and how to prioritize your mental health as a carer.
You are not alone. <---You never were cos there are many who went through n going through the same struggle. The thing is, most people don't voice out n dealing on their own, that's why they suffer alone.
It is good to have a supportive community, I'm glad you found one! 👍💪🙏😊