Bouncing back from loss

It's hard, but you’ll get there.

Photo by Arshavin.

It's 2:14 am, and I don't want to sleep. Today’s battle isn't with insomnia but with the reality that things are not the same anymore. Why must life be cruel, knowing you have nothing but love and a mountain of good intentions that aim at a life of peace?

Nothing prepares you for the pain that comes with loss.

It's almost as if the universe has an unquenchable thirst for balance, that it can't help but disrupt a good thing with an often unexplainable reason to force you to lose something or someone. Words alone can’t describe what loss can do to you.

The lonely late-night cries, loss of appetite, sudden mood swings, unanswered questions, or urge to run away from yourself and everything. You’d have to experience it to fully understand, and even though I wish you didn't, I hope this reminds you when it hits close to home that you are not alone.

Image: When loss feels like defeat.

I'm still here, reminded of the harsh reality that comes with loss—the different phases of grief. They hit so hard with no respect for your age, or gender, or even bother to ask if you have the strength to handle all they throw at you. You know what’s worse? They take turns coming at you, and when you think you're done with one, bam! It tests you again.

And please, stop with the you are strong all the time. It's tiring. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with not being strong sometimes.

Let people make peace with grief!

Mental health and emotional support are not motivational speaking, please. There’s a time for motivational speaking, and it's down the line for loss.

If you’ve experienced heartbreak, the loss of a loved one or friend, or financial loss, this might be familiar. At first, you're in disbelief at what has happened—Denial. Confused about what to believe is real or not? Maybe you'll sleep and realize it was a dream, but you wake up and it's your new reality.

Anger is not far behind. An irritable frustration that you couldn't do anything to prevent it. You tried, but it wasn't enough. You're angry at the situation, but maybe also at yourself for not having all the answers. This is where you can lose yourself.

Lonely, infuriated, and sometimes lost in loss. You need every genuine support you can get, but you’ll have to seek and embrace it to bounce back from that loss. It's tough when bargaining with loss. So hard, because while trying to make sense of the loss and why nobody deserves to suffer like this, you can slowly feel yourself get pulled by the wave of depression.

It’s about time, and you’ll tell yourself you've tried your best. You've cried, blamed yourself, blamed others, starved, and even abandoned yourself, but nothing seems to be enough to restore that loss. In time, you’ll accept life for what it is—A gift that keeps giving and doesn't hesitate to take it all away.

The sky isn't entirely clear and bright, but you can gradually see a reality where life has meaning again. You're reaching out, embracing change and growth, building new connections, and back on track to fulfilling your purpose. Maybe you even reinvent yourself this time.

Sometimes, memories play a fast one and creep in with any of the phases of grief, but it becomes easier to make peace with it and embrace your new reality. And maybe it's no longer a loss but a memory you'll forever be grateful for.

You won't get there overnight, but you'll bounce back. You'll find your spark again, and you'll shine. If you're willing, at a pace defined by you, embrace support, and give yourself compassion because you understand it’s not a straightforward path, the sun will shine, and you will smile again.

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