Are you tired of running too?
Because I am…
If you’re someone with a clear vision of what you want from life, you’ve done one of the best things you can do for yourself, but it's dangerous.
Most people think being ambitious, goal-driven, determined, and a problem-solver is a glamorous life because of the milestones you hit along your journey.
What you're not often told is that it's tiring.
I’ve never wanted to live a small life. Simple, yeah, but not small. I know I deserve everything beautiful life has to offer, so I’m not going to settle, but what the helly?!
You can do everything right, and life would still do you wrong.
I've planned, set goals, and stayed determined and disciplined enough to achieve my goals, and I have some, but it feels like it's never enough. Like, when do I get a chance to stop chasing goals, to stop running from or to new things?
It feels like an endless pursuit on most days, and if you're wondering if I don't rest, I try.
There are days when I pause, breathe, and take some time to reset, because I have to, but still, there’s a constant nudge to keep going.
Lately, it's been a different chase. A fusion of running from certain fears and an unexpected disappointment, and running towards the life I know I deserve. The life I will get.
The chase doesn't end; it takes a different turn.
This is me right now, but while writing this, I've scheduled work posts, put out a work-related fire, and attended a meeting.
I’m in a love-hate relationship with purpose-driven ambition, and my neck is sore from the several hickey marks in this relationship. 🫠
Gone are the days when working under pressure meant you're exceptional at your job. Now, I realize it's a fancy way to say you're addicted to an abusive relationship with productivity, but oh well. You get the job done, right?
And this is my mind every other hour. Being still often feels unaccomplishing, but I've been learning and living, knowing that there’s beauty and fulfilment in stillness, and we were never meant to run all our lives.
I love solving problems, providing solutions, creating, fixing things, and making things better. So, even when I'm not doing for myself, I'm doing for others.
I'm not complaining (I hate it), I'm not venting (it's good), I needed to declutter my mind, so here we are. The interesting thing is I’ll keep going, knowing I have so much more to give myself and this world, so there’s no quitting here.
And I'm curious, what are you running from?
What keeps you up at night? What's starving you even when you're full? What creeps up on you when you feel you finally have some time to just be, to exist like nothing else matters?
Maybe we can run together or remember that it's okay to stop running if you need to catch your breath.
I try to remind myself of two things when I get tired or worn down from trying to achieve -
1. There is no finish line - you are never done and if you reach a goal, you are going to move the goalposts on yourself anyway. Get to work but know that there is no end in site.
2. This is when most people quit - it gets hard for everyone and the majority of people hit the first, second, third or 47th roadblock and stop. Every time you keep going when another person would quit is one step closer to success.
So, definitely take breaks, slow down or change gears but don't quit because that thing you are running towards gets closer everyday.
The hard part is not knowing how much more effort, time, money and soul it will require to achieve it.
I love this. I'm in my being era, not trying to be or do more and I love it here. I pursued success according to the world and ended up with chronic health issues 🫠0/10. Would not recommend.
Now, I rest without guilt, knowing that 4 productive hours of work are better than 12 burnout and hating it hours.
You deserve all the beautiful things life has to offer, my friend. Enjoy the journey because it will come 🌻