You are who you think you are.
We don’t talk about self-esteem enough. How we think and feel about ourselves goes a long way in affecting how we behave, treat ourselves, and let others treat us. If you have struggled or still struggle with low self-esteem, you’ll understand how self-esteem can aggravate the chances of mental health issues like anxiety and even depression.
I remember not wanting to do more work or challenge myself because of low self-esteem. That feeling of never being enough or that you will end up ruining something. This low self-esteem happens to many people and can fluctuate across all works of life. It’s an interesting concept because not one particular thing causes low self-esteem.
Where does low self-esteem originate?
Low self-esteem can come from experiences in childhood or our teenage years. When you are constantly neglected, made to feel like an outcast, don’t have support from parents, always compare yourself with others, or suffer chronic medical problems low self-esteem builds in you.
What makes it worse is that it begins to affect your confidence. You can easily struggle with being secure in yourself and seeking external validation, but it doesn’t stop there. Low self-esteem also affects your identity and you may have doubts about your gender, sexuality, or body type. A more common aspect of life that is affected by low self-esteem is our sense of belonging. Feeling like you don’t belong or fit in with family, friends, or colleagues results in people pleasing, external attention, and sometimes depression.
How then do we build high self-esteem?
High or improved self-esteem doesn’t happen by accident. It is an intentional act to hold yourself in high regard. I mean seeing and giving yourself value without waiting for anyone else to do so. This doesn’t mean you automatically love everything about yourself or are now perfect, rather, you acknowledge your flaws and aspects of yourself you don’t like, but the positive thoughts about yourself outweigh the negative ones.
It makes you retain your worth as a person. High self-esteem is a mindset that lets you celebrate your strengths, challenge your weaknesses, and feel good about yourself and your life. It allows you to put daily ups and downs in perspective because, at your core, you value, trust, and respect yourself. High self-esteem helps you say things like, I’ve done my best, instead of saying, I’m not good enough.
High self-esteem also helps you understand that everything isn't about you, enabling you to not take everything personally and not be overly reactive. Strong self-respect lets you see beyond yourself and feel confident of your place in the world. A mindset that improves your mental health.
Know your worth and add tax.
Building high self-esteem is not easy but is very achievable. If I can, you can too.
For starters, If you value yourself, and have enough self-worth, you also know that you deserve to take care of yourself, which reminds you to do things to improve your self-esteem. It's difficult to take care of yourself if you think poorly of yourself.
Embrace compliments, you’ve earned it. I know it can feel weird or brand new to accept compliments from strangers especially if you’re not used to it, but it’s time you begin to learn to accept it cos you deserve nice things too.
Value yourself. You are not your struggles, failures, or trauma. Give yourself some credit for coming this far and spend more time doing things you’re good at to restore some self-worth.
Celebrate the little things. Those things that feel like nothing are what you need to start praising yourself for doing. You finished reading a book, thank yourself with a nice meal or glass of wine.
Focus on things you can change. Stop beating yourself over the things you didn’t do well or mistakes. There are many other things you can do well.
Spend time with people who remind you of your worth. Support helps so much with building an improved self-esteem. With people who pull you back when you go back to saying negative things about yourself, it is easier to build high self-esteem.
I’ll leave you with this. This dude used to struggle with esteem but has since realized that he can’t let his struggles dictate who he is and has improved self-esteem and positive mental health.
Low self-esteem hinders you from your full potential and lots of amazing opportunities you are qualified for. This is a reminder to not allow it to stop you any further.