That trigger reminds you that you’re uncomfortable with what’s happening.
In our long road of healing, the path is riddled with mines of triggers and reminders of traumas we sometimes didn’t even know we had. Have you ever felt a trigger amongst strangers and had to force it or fake it? I have. I have a medicine cabinet of triggers and traumas of lives lived within this timeline. Who doesn’t or who hasn’t? I’ll share a few moments of stop, observe, and perhaps even remove.
As I write this already, a multitude of triggers are swirling and twirling as examples, and raising my blood pressure in a sense. Writing this, in some slight discomfort, is a trigger. It’s not a big one, and I can write past it. Yet, there are other examples where we sit with the irritation of the trigger and wonder how we got there. Walking back from it is way more difficult.
I’ll try to relate the trigger phenomenon to being in X (formerly Twitter) Spaces and someone shows up (albeit this may be my experience) that perhaps you have witnessed in another space be rude, disruptive, or have an abnoxious frequency. You are in the audience, minding your vibe and going with the host’s frequency, and suddenly, you feel irritated. You shuffle and wonder, do I leave the space even though you are not there for them? You are there for the space. It’s natural, we are often put in environments with folks we don’t digest easily, because they feel like a past version of self, someone you don’t see as embodying the virtues of common courtesy, or something else. How do you handle this jolt? This personal assault resonates deeply in our being. Our beautiful triggers.
This has occurred to me on a few occasions, including in person. I am sensitive to energies and frequencies, and I try to check this. I don’t want that trigger to come and disrupt my peace, even if it’s something born within me. I don’t have to tolerate a whack energy, but if I’m in a space with people I care about, I can hold space for myself and maybe mute when triggered by irritating voice distortions or whatever the case may be. I can be there, but I can also gracefully remove myself briefly and come back once I realize it’s just a trigger and a reflection of what I need to overcome in this moment.
Did this person come here intentionally to trigger you, or perhaps they are existing in their truth? I chose not to focus on the irritation any longer because I have experienced it far too many times, and I’ll gently remove myself so I don’t energetically engage. This is work I have to consistently check and do. We all have our reasons, but every time you react or show up better for yourself, you are releasing those ties from your past that caused this trigger in the first place.
I think the important thing to realize is that we all have moments like these. Unhealed triggers for whatever reason that pop up at the most random times. It will occur more often than not, and the key to our healing comes from observing the self.
It’s more about why you’re triggered than who or what is triggering you.
Every time you choose differently, you create a new pathway for yourself in your mind and embodiment of spirit. Some of us have childhood triggers that manifest themselves in our daily realities. These triggers could have come from not being listened to as a child and maybe even into adolescence. Folks not showing up for you the way you needed them to, or childhood bullying that turned into lifetime bullies that pop up in different areas of your life. What’s interesting about the healing journey is that they’ll continue to manifest themselves until we begin to show up differently and with awareness. I’ve experienced this, and I know others have.
I’ve been in spiritual groups, and someone kept saying, with nothing else, if you don’t heal from it, it will continue. That irritated me because they laid no pathway or groundwork for anyone to find healing. It triggered me - lol. I, on the other hand, don’t just want to bring up examples, samples, and stories; I want to guide or, at the very least, tell you a little more so that you can find your way from those things that keep showing up even when we have done the work.
I believe the keys to releasing our traumas are within us, and that people show up and somehow unlock other parts we need to master. We’re a masterpiece in the making. God’s creation that gets better with refinement. If you believe you know how to learn a new skill, like something in computing, writing, etc. Why can’t you embody a new pathway? I am not saying you are broken, missing a piece, or not enough with this; I am highlighting refining your beauty. Showing up differently as this will free you each time, and you will see the triggers fall apart before your eyes.
Hold yourself in softness and you won’t drown.
These triggers can bring up anxiety, frustration, anger, or even fear. Our experiences shape us, but we can transcend these triggers whenever we choose differently. It’ll feel uncomfortable, unlike yourself, but trust the process. Nobody wants a life of continued triggers and trauma. The hermetic principle of rhythm reminds us that all things move in cycles, including our moods, memories, and nervous system response.
As random waves appear in the ocean, so do our triggers rise suddenly and pull us into old pains and recede again to calm waves. So when we ground ourselves in that knowing, we can stop blaming ourselves for the overreaction of that incident or the trigger, and instead take a moment to acknowledge that emotion, and just be with it for a moment. Not responding immediately, and surfing with it to calm waters.
You’re the vessel that’ll direct your experience, and I only wish that you could surf this life more at ease, knowing you’ll overcome these painful triggers. Please know that you are capable, and we wish you nothing but the best in your healing journey. Surfs up, you got this - we all do. One wave at a time.
 | A guest post by
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"Every time you choose differently, you create a new pathway for yourself"
This is everything. If you feel something, become aware of what it is and choose differently you are developing the skill to move forward. You are choosing discipline to help advance healing.
Reading this article felt like you were speaking to me, personally. I felt every word, every ounce of pain, and resonated deeply. I’m genuinely looking forward to discussing this topic with the REAL TALK community/family this afternoon! 💖